March 2012
2 posts
Rules for a Sex-Only Relationship →
Telling Him (or Her).....No
It’s 2012 and I’m back in action.
Or rather, I’m not.
I mean, I could be…..
The way they’ve all come knocking with spring fever and all…. the usual suspects looking to plant some seeds (yikes!) now that the threat of frost is over.
But I’ve had some things on my mind, and until I sort them out, those sparkly-eyed playmates have sort of lost their...
December 2011
6 posts
Sing Your Heart Out!
Before humans ever spoke or wrote, they sang and danced.
These primitive forms of expression can bring us great joy and liberation and ought to be practiced on a regular basis.
In terms of romance, I believe that when you set yourself free to burst into song or move your body to music that stirs you, something inside you opens up.
It’s a sensation of great release, ecstatic and (dare I...
In Your Own Backyard
Fact: Very few New Yorkers know their neighbors.
I think that’s insane.
Maybe because I grew up in Missouri, where we used to greet anyone who moved to the block with Blueberry muffins.
And then I lived eight years in Rome, Italy, where neighbors talked to each other every day, or at the very least talked about each other and stared at each other with suspicion.
Last Saturday I...
A Good Fit Feels Good.
No, that’s not me, but it may as well have been for how great I felt in the jeans store today.
What the?
I had a mini-revelation today that jeans-shopping and love-shopping have a lot in common.
First and foremost, you’ll have much better luck if you approach the situation feeling good about yourself.
There’s nothing like wriggling your way into a tight pair that was never...
Dodged a Bullet
A few posts ago I warned of the dangers of writing for too long and never meeting face to face.
After some Internet sleuthing, I was delighted to discover that the man who managed to string me along only to stand me up on a breakfast (breakfast!) date is frightfully unattractive.
Of course it’s all in the eye of the beholder, but I’d say I dodged a bullet on this one.
He was...
Wet.
I don’t know about you, but this rainy weather has got all kinds of thoughts running through my head.
Maybe it’s the desire to be out of the rain and into someone’s warm arms and a big blanket.
Whatever it is, I’m certain I’m not the only one.
Take your eyes off the puddles today for a few minutes and peek out from under your umbrella.
You never know who you...
Word Ploy
Do a Google Image search for the word “Maialino.”
I’ll even do it for you.
For an entire country and speakers of its native language, that word means piglet.
For in-the-know New York foodies (that word still makes me cringe), it’s Danny Meyer’s Roman trattoria-inspired restaurant in Gramercy.
It’s the kind of place that serves a gussied-up if...
November 2011
2 posts
Dispatch from Chicago
Chicago blossoms with full force in good weather.
It’s so rare that one can even expose his or her skin to the air, that a balmy afternoon really brings out the best in the otherwise bundled-up denizens of the windy city.
I was there this weekend during an unseasonably warm few fall days.
In the course of three blocks I exchanged smiles with no fewer than ten different men, one of whom...
Tell Him
Select a soundtrack to this post from the following:
Lauryn Hill
Barbra & Celine
The Exciters
I haven’t felt so compelled to share my feelings with a man since the day I wrote a love letter to Paris. The letter that inspired this blog.
About two months ago I met someone. The where and how are not important. What matters is that his enthusiasm was refreshing. Our first date went...
September 2011
1 post
Croatia In Passing
A storm was kicking up in the city this morning.
The ruffles on my skirt fluttered as I scuttled to catch a yellow light.
A man brushed past me headed in the opposite direction and out eyes locked in perfect film fashion, but there was no time to stop with such dark clouds overhead.
Once safe on the other side I looked back.
So did he.
I flashed a big smile and he shot me a toothy one in...
August 2011
3 posts
Five Alarm at the Pharmacy
I was just hanging around outside the CVS waiting for some prescriptions and chatting on the phone to my friend about finding inner peace and feeling settled, when he just sauntered by and left me feeling anything but settled.
What is it about fire fighters?
Sure, the courage it takes to run into a burning building is pretty hot. And they’re awfully tender when they rescue kittens (and...
First-timer Charmed
Tonight began with a New Yorker symposium on internet dating and the state of modern day romance. Was the internet expanding our horizons or simply confining us to the isolated space of ourselves and our computer screens? The invitation said there would be a mixer following the panel discussion, but quite sadly (if predictably) the majority of the 100-some attendees lit up their mobile phones and...
Love Thyself (With Caution)
In a turn from my usual tales of searing eye contact and talking to strangers, I thought my latest misadventure warranted a recap…if only to serve as a warning.
As a very late bloomer, I’m currently in the honeymoon phase.
With myself.
I can’t avoid a mirror, I know all my best angles when it comes to taking pictures, and I will on occasion respond to compliments with...
April 2011
2 posts
Red Hot
Yesterday was a good day for red.
Royal ginger representative Will secured his empire and his queen, and I had a momentary love affair with a razor-shorn redhead en route to Manhattan.
It began at the R train station at Union Street with his glance at my red heels, continued with a mutual removal of headphones during the Dekalb Avenue transfer, and climaxed with a huge smile from me when he...
Only in France....J'adore "Le Regard!" →
March 2011
1 post
Aim For the Stars.
I’ve never had a celebrity crush before, at least nothing this powerful.
My attraction to Kiefer Sutherland’s character on 24, Agent Jack Bauer, was aesthetically inexplicable - little blond tough guys have never been my type.
When I started watching the show online (episode after episode in a fiendish frenzy), something ignited inside of me.
A fatal equation of great acting and...
February 2011
2 posts
Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is.
The idea of online dating hurts my heart.
It pains me deeply that we have come to this.
So many hours are spent in front of screens, finding ways to be ourselves and not be ourselves, hoping to meet someone special.
Devotees would say it’s a time-saver. That you can filter through the thousands of prospective mates when you have no time to go out.
My question is why people take to...
Killer Craig's List Love Therapy
Put your romantic ramblings online for all the world to see sometime. It’s anonymous and you have nothing to lose.
I’ve heard some success stories (including missed connections), of lovers, couples, and even marriage.
JDate is not the only only site that works.
I’ve made a few friends there myself - pen pals to start, and perfectly down-to-earth types in real life.
I also...
December 2010
1 post
Proceed with Caution
I’m been preoccupied and admittedly neglecting my crusade. Sorry.
I’m back and ready to bring it home in 2011, but before I do, I believe I owe you a note of caution.
A mentality of open-mindedness with regard to emotion and all that accompanies it can easily be misinterpreted. Your wink to a man on the street could trigger a greener light than you’d anticipated.
Fortunately...
October 2010
1 post
Reel 'em in!
I always say there’s no getting over a guy, there’s only getting into another one.
I’ve been trying to exorcise one particular demon lately. I was certain he was gone for good and I could fill an empty space starting to form in my chest.
And so I cast my rod out into the world of Internet dating. If only I were a man…oh the fun we’d have with that one.
For weeks...
September 2010
1 post
Uncalm before the storm
The other day around twilight I was hurrying back to my apartment, desperate to outrun an impending storm.
The light had turned from rosy to virtually lime green and thunder rumbled from beyond the church steeples.
I had stopped at an intersection and was willing the light to change when he approached from the other side of the street. Once the coast was clear we began walking, and as our...
August 2010
6 posts
A taste of home
So I’m home in Missouri for a wedding and we go to the old favorite, Tellers, a bar and art gallery downtown.
The bartender is thin but sturdy with ash blue eyes and curly hair piled into a ponytail.
I waved him over and told him he looked familiar.
We went through the list: high school graduating class, neighborhood, artistic affiliations…
Nothing.
Finally I asked him his sign.
...
a dragon in the elevator
Chicago.
I’m on my way back from a run (read: hair tousled down my back, glowing skin, tiny top and pants), and I run into one of those dudes in the lobby of my brother’s building.
He’s got a down-turned baseball cap, flip-flops, loose/ill-fitting shorts, and a baggy T-shirt with some college sports team on it that does not disguise his beer belly.
He’s shuffling...
Law of Attraction
Oprah made The Secret theory famous, but according to Australian author Rhonda Byrne (and a handful of physicists and philosophers throughout the last couple millennia) the Law of Attraction idea has been around for as long as humans have been recording their thoughts.
The idea that your thoughts (both conscious and unconscious) influence what happens to you and around you is supported...
Get into the groove
This post has a soundtrack. Start at 2:25 and then go back and watch the whole thing again…
I know I complain about people ignoring one another on the subway, their ears all full of an iPod playlist and their hearts all out of shape.
There’s always room for compromise.
Sometimes a song just touches you. It gets your pulse pumping or makes you melt a little.
So why not let other...
The Chase
So I was five minutes into my run today, and just as I was crossing 3rd Street I saw a guy gesturing kind of wildly from his stoop.
I figured he was helping a friend parallel park and didn’t think much of it.
Then at 4th Street I heard some shuffling on my left.
It was him. He was jogging along with me.
First he asked me If we could go out sometime and I ignored him. I had on the...
Unpeel the layers
If you’ve never been to a nude beach, I highly recommend it.
I’m not sure if our sheltered emotive state is a cause or effect of our puritanical approach to clothing. Sure, we’ll show some skin, especially in NYC, but compared to much of the world, we wear our pants baggier, our necklines higher, and our bikini bottoms….fuller.
And that’s just not flattering.
...
July 2010
1 post
Let's get back to our roots.
What is wrong with this country?
Back in the day we farmed our own food and made things from scratch. Then things went industrial and now we can have seedless watermelon in December.
Great. But what about cherries from our own backyards?
Local and seasonal produce is all the rage lately, but there’s nothing new about that!
It’s simply getting back to our roots.
I haven’t...
June 2010
1 post
Rear View
The other night I hit the pavement around the magic hour (circa 7:30 pm this time of year), when the sunlight gets sort of glowy and the sky turns the shades of pink and gold you might expect to find in Unicornland.
I was wearing my usual runner’s garb—a tank top and yoga pants. Far less racy than my usual swishy skirts and plunging halter tops.
As I neared 9th Street and 4th...
April 2010
1 post
Away
I’ve been in France and Italy, where smiling at strangers is normal and love stories are born and die in the space of a bus ride.
Now I’m back.
It’s spring, and I’m more determined than ever to make this city blossom.
The other day I boarded the R train at Prince St. heading downtown. I was fantasizing about where I might meet my husband, and how we would look at each...
March 2010
2 posts
My Eyes Deceived Me
At the bar sipping a Campari for strictly medicinal purposes when I notice blue eyes first. Then the rest. A pretty package and a glance my way.
He caught me looking.
And then a girl who kisses his cheek and steals off to the bathroom.
I look into my drink. I must have been mistaken.
And then he’s there next to me, one hand extended.
“A girl just kissed you,” I tell him.
A...
"I can't wait to get in bed."
That’s what the cute doorman said to me at the Empire Hotel last Saturday night.
It was whipping rain everywhere and we were both wet.
Yes, I might have said something about it not being the best night to be outdoors…
February 2010
6 posts
YES!
R train, circa 7:45 PM.
I get on a packed traincar at Prince Street and squeeze in beside a black-haired, blue eyed, arty type (vans, nose ring) and someone else who obviously made much less of an impression.
He moves over, and I try to make myself smaller.
He speaks. “I had a nice nap going there, so much for that,” and he removes his iPod headphones. “Hello.”
I am at...
Be a man.
I started this blog because people are afraid to talk to one another.
But there are exceptions, and my friends have started telling me their stories (keep ‘em coming and comment right here), so every once in a while I get a little hopeful that maybe come springtime the city’s heart will melt along with the snow.
At first all it took was a second glance to get my spirits up, but come...
What's your sign?
I’m conducting an experiment. I like to say it’s unofficial, so as not to come across as some starry-eyed hippie and scare people off.
Yet it’s very much official in my mind (granted I’m no scientist), and the the evidence is growing stronger everyday.
So I have a couple of fatal attractions. Libra, Scorpio, and Pisces.
I won’t drag you through the reasoning. It...
Better from behind
I saw guy at a party last night that looked very much like a guy I had seen at a concert the week before.
He had the same unruly curls and a sway to his step. The man at the concert had been two rows in front of me. I didn’t see much of his face.
This guy had bright eyes and full pink lips to match his mane. Angelic. Almost.
I caught those eyes from across the room and pushed my way...
Where have I been lately?
The largest Italian wine trade show outside of Italy.
I’ve spent most of my days this week surrounded by Italians.
And wine.
There was no need for me to do anything “bold” or force conversation out of strangers.
They were ready and willing and I got enough eye contact and momentary love stories to last me through the weekend.
Maybe…
January 2010
8 posts
You look like Johnny Depp.
Tonight I attended a mixer hosted by the illustrious budget travel gurus of eurocheapo at Botanica bar in Soho, and someone asked if I’d posted recently.
It had been a few days since I’d spoken to strangers, stared people down on the subway, or left a note on a napkin. I’ve been busy…
But wait! That’s everyone’s excuse around here, and that is NO excuse.
...
I would if I could...
Tonight, fairly liquored up after a bottle of Burgundy and some 1968 Madeira (!), I was waiting for the R train at Prince Street, when I made eye contact and smiled unabashedly at a boy.
He asks ME if I’m waiting for the R, to which I reply, yes.
Then the W comes. When does the W actually come?
And he lingers a bit and says that actually he can take the W.
I say he should, if he can, as...
Some of you have been asking...
What happens with these encounters? Did anything ever come of them?
I don’t know If I sound more like a tease or a failure, but there’s very little to share with you.
The point is not about what happens, but that I was brave enough to try and make something happen.
Carpooling
Last night it was bone-chilling cold. I walked one block from the market and decided it was plenty.
While I waited inside the tiny office of Blue Car Service, I noticed a man just outside. His hands were clasped and his cheeks were an almost electric pink.
I beckoned him inside the office, and he entered, his whole body instantly grateful.
After ten minutes, just as our lips were beginning to...
How it feels
I wasn’t even turning it on.
I just thought I saw my upstairs neighbor on the F train to Manhattan last night, so I moved seats to get a better look. I didn’t want to say his name because that’s a little embarrassing, and it’s rarely who you think it is.
So I just stared and smiled.
And HE got up and moved to a seat in the next car. What?
Is this how it feels to be a...
XXXless=Sleepless
Have you ever felt such an intense attraction to someone, failed to act upon it, and spent the night tossing and turning? Sleepless and thirsty?
Just another reason to act on our impulses. Sleep is essential to a healthy immune system, and it’s Flu season folks!
Break a Sweat
I’ve been working out. It’s all part of “Project Sexy 2010: Video Star.” It all began with a free month’s membership to David Barton Gym, a notoriously sexy workout wonderland. My location is also notoriously for the boys, so to speak, which is fine by me.
I prefer to sweat it out in leggings and discolored socks. While they may be looking, they’re not looking...
Last Hope of the Decade
New Year’s Eve. I’m on the N express heading uptown to Union Square. Before I sit down, I glance at the man next to me. He glances back.
I sit down and we exchange another glance, and he nods, as if to welcoming me to the bench.
The train is crowded and I get up one stop before mine and stand at the pole in front of him. I look right at him and smile. He smiles back. I look down at...
December 2009
4 posts
Progress
Maybe it’s the holiday season, but I’ve been having good luck on the subway lately. Three different exchanges this week, and one of them actually removed his iPhone headphones and smiled at me.
Tonight, the night of Christmas day, a guy was reading a book, but kept peering over the top of it at me. So I sat right in front of him, pulled out my book (“The Sex Life of Food”...
The napkin note...
It’s one of the oldest tricks in the bar book and it’s also one of the rarest these days.
When was the last time you wrote your name on a napkin or a coaster and slid it right under the eyes of your object of affection?
I did it tonight. After an unexpected outburst of Karaoke at Muldoon’s pub, I was emerging from the bathroom (glowing no doubt from the three hot toddies...
Breakthrough!
On the Brooklyn-bound 2 Express train yesterday and I exchanged a couple glances with a man standing by the door. He was busy with his iPhone, but did look up a few times…to find me looking back at him.
Five minutes later he put it away and straightened up. Having no headphones as an excuse, he looked straight at me and we shared a big, soul-warming smile.
Sure. After that he looked at...